Where I've Been

Portland, Oregon ~ November 2, 2012 

Re-posted from my other blog, Astoria, Oregon, Daily Photo

Shaking from stress and weakness, I found the camera in my backpack and took this photo in Portland a few days after my surgery. It was the first picture I had wanted to take in weeks. The leaves in Portland and on the coast in Astoria have been stunning this Fall until now the rain has drummed most of them off of the trees. I enjoyed observing, but the gorgeous, bright colors were just one more scenario I hadn't felt like taking pictures of. There have been many. I have missed a lot in the last couple of years. I will explain.

To my faithful blog friends. Thank you for reading and for your kindness over the months. Thank you, every one of you.

On October 30, I had a second surgery at OHSU to correct a very serious illness. The first surgery in April only partially solved problem, and it came back. This recent surgery was completely successful. I am so incredibly grateful to be where I am today. I will be okay, although recovery may take some time. I was extremely sick, and I was sick for a long time. I'm not sure why I never mentioned it on this blog. I am not all that private about my health, but I usually wait until I have something positive to say. That may be a failing, as it leaves me feeling isolated during the hardest times. My thanks to E. for turning me on to a terrific Ted Talk video about vulnerability and connection. From this video I also found a second one by the same speaker. I recommend both of them highly in this time when perhaps many of us struggle with connection despite – or maybe in part because of – our electronic connectivity and what it often becomes.

My illness was not cancer, but benign parathyroid tumors that destroyed my lifestyle, and can eventually take a person's life if not diagnosed and removed. Parathyroid glands are not the same as thyroid, although they reside in the same place in your throat, and each affects your entire being in a different way. Parathyroid hormone regulates the calcium in your body, and calcium regulates how your muscles, bones, and nervous system work. Benign parathyroid tumors affect all of these systems. I had been sick for at least eight years and didn't know why. And then something happened at the end of May 2010. I collapsed with exhaustion, and it was pretty much downhill from there. It eventually became impossible for me to walk around and take photos.

There is no known cause for parathyroid disease and apparently no known risk factors, although I am at the median age for people who are diagnosed. One of my doctors said, "Parathyroid disease is tricky to diagnose." I think it isn't. I think the doctors cover each other's tails by saying things like this. Maybe the subtleties require some diagnostic skill, but there is a HUGE red flag that anyone can recognize. ANYONE. My doctor in Astoria overlooked it on a standard blood test in 2004, and it may have been on later tests as well. The red flag is simple, and the cure is simple. I want EVERYONE to know what that red flag is. If you are a doctor, if you are a nurse, if you are a person watching out for your own health, and if you are concerned about the health of your friends and family, you can recognize the red flag before it ruins someone's life. The red flag is this: An adult should never have a blood calcium level over 10.1. The cure is also simple. You remove any enlarged parathyroid glands. Each person has four of them, and you can live comfortably with about one half of a gland left. They are virtually never cancer. You remove the affected gland and the problem is solved. Not to frighten anyone unnecessarily, a child or growing teen can have a calcium level higher than this – I believe it may be up to 10.6. I was in my 50s in 2004, so a calcium level of 11.3 on my standard annual complete blood count should have sent me to a specialist ASAP. It didn't. Unaccountably, my doctor did not recognize the red flag. Nothing was said, nothing was done.

The way I understand it now, there may be factors such as certain medications (hydrochlorothiazide) that can bump your calcium level up to 10.2 or maybe (I'm not sure) 10.3, but even these numbers need to be checked out. The cure is minor surgery – typically outpatient surgery done by a doctor who knows what they're doing. A person in our technological age should never have to get as sick from parathyroid disease as I did.

I'm just saying, if you or anyone you know has a high-end calcium level of more than 10.1, don't wait, and don't let your doctor tell you, "We're going to watch and see what happens." Get it fixed and you can get on with your life.

After several painful and debilitating years and two surgeries, my problem is now fixed. I'm beginning to feel that my life may become normal again. It won't happen overnight, but I am on the way. I was sick for so long that I ended up with not only the primary symptoms of parathyroid disease, but also crippling foot problems as a secondary condition. Parathyroid surgery was on October 30. Some painful symptoms were better by the time I woke up in the recovery room. Each day I've noticed more improvement, sometimes dramatic. Finally, in the last few days I can feel even the more stubborn symptoms beginning to abate. It's a dream come true, and I'm filled with hope.

I may write more about my experiences on my personal blog, I'm not sure. I don't want to dwell on the past, but I do want people to understand that what I have gone through can almost completely be avoided. With a history of fibromyalgia – or was it really the parathyroid disease all along? Some symptoms are identical – I waited and didn't become enough my own advocate. To be fair to myself, I had gone to many doctors with symptom complaints that eventually turned out to caused by the malfunction in my parathyroid glands. They had no clue. To be fair to THEM, yes, diagnosing parathyroid disease from symptoms is probably almost impossible. There are many symptoms, and you can read more about them at parathyroid.com. Thank God I didn't have all of these, but I did have some that are not on that list. So the absolute serum calcium number on the standard blood test becomes all-important. It should have been so simple.

As I write this, I am still spending most of my days on the couch or in bed. On Monday I began to feel that I could eventually become normal again. I began to feel that I will again walk more than a few yards at a time and spend more than an hour or two a day sitting up. I will keep you posted, and I will return to blogging. You will see my progress through the photos I take, although I may return to my archives now and again for want of time or travel, or just because I like some of my earlier pictures of Astoria. I wish I had said something sooner, but I was embarrassed that my photos were becoming restricted, showing only the scenes close to home. I never knew whether I should be honest about my condition on the blog, and now I wonder why it was such a big deal.

I have made tremendous friends through blogging, and I hope to make many more. I appreciate those of you who have asked after me – both those to whom I replied, and those I ignored, feeling wordless and hopeless at the time I received your email or comment. One way to make friends is to be honest about who you are. I knew that, and yet . . . why is this such a hard lesson?

My Web Page: Tapirback.com.

Egoscue Method, Day 1

Portland, Oregon ~ October 29, 2010

My favorite season in Portland is Fall. We simply don't have the large stands of colorful trees in most places on the coast, so it was a treat to get out of the car and find this all around me.

Here is the building that houses the clinic. I didn't know it yet, but Egoscue Portland is directly ahead - top floor center, facing these beautiful trees with their bank of windows. To make a very long story very short, I was here because I finally knew I had to do something beyond what I was already doing to fix the fibromyalgia and increasingly painful feet. This flare of fibro had started at the end of May, and the foot thing (probably tarsal tunnel syndrome) immediately got much worse than it had ever been. And I finally figured out what it was. After reading Pain Free by Pete Egoscue and trying some of the exercises, I felt that I needed to and owed it to myself to see the professionals. So this was my first visit. I arrived early.

This is the Oregonian building, Western Division. It's right next door. The entire parking area seemed like a fairyland of color.

I'm not going to go into much detail, and I'll talk more about it as the days go by, especially if it helps. But I want to record that everything felt right. It was a good experience, and maybe a great one, all except seeing myself full length from four angles - the weight I've put on during this year mainly through the inability to exercise and the resultant comfort foods did not make me happy. But the people were warm and knowledgeable, the exercises seemed doable, I felt something happening in the way I stood and moved, and I went home after an hour and a half feeling very positive, feeling new possibilities; and when I got out of the car at the end of the two hour drive home, a hip pain I've had for several years did not immediately bother me.

This blog is sponsored by Tapir and Friends Animal Store.

Dec 1, Portland: Another day at OHSU

I wanted to remember breakfast. This image was stronger when I was back further and the perspective was greater, but we were walking, and I didn't take time to direct the scene. Most of the pix in this post are of that type - on the fly. Memories.

The contrasts caught my attention in the parking lot as we walked back to Jane's condo to get ready to go in to OHSU (Oregon Health Science University: the hospital) for the day. My job was to be moral support, but of course I did it because I wanted to be there.

Moss along the paved sidewalk, and a red curb.

A beautiful old live oak. I'm sure it was once happier without the pavement. Its better angle is from the right in this image, but we were walking and I missed it.

Beautiful fall trees still have their leaves despite rain and wind. This is at Jane's condo in Lake Oswego (Portland).

The drive up the hill. Trees. Talking about the 70% chance of success, hoping it will be within the 70%, and what does that really mean. What does it mean to think positive? But it doesn't hurt, and we were doing our best to think positive even though the procedure was already said to be very tricky.

Yellow autumn leaves still glowing in the morning sun.

Oddly, I like blurry photos along the road. This is so Oregon, even in the midst of the city.

The tram at OHSU was under construction for so long, and now it faithfully carries people from their cars parked at the base of the hill up to the buildings where they work or visit the hospital and other buildings. It's massive, and is built with interesting shapes and colors. We opted for parking in the lot on top.

Into the maw.

More modern shapes and contrasts. If you have to have something done at a hospital, it may as well be an interesting one.

More angles at OHSU.

Tram top and covered walkway.

More new construction.

Shapes and reflections.

From inside the 9th floor hallway, I tried to get a shot of this deco design through tinted glass as we waited.

The halls have some nice paintings. This is in the 9th floor waiting area. Strange. A woman in a wheelchair needed a signature from someone not in her own family and not on the hospital staff. They were to sign a form witnessing that the woman had signed a document. I offered. The lady was grateful, but "She doesn't know who I say I am," she said. "That doesn't matter," said the staff member. I signed. Of course, I didn't have to show I.D. either. Weird.

April 6, Astoria and Vancouver: Spring comes to Oregon and Washington

This morning I planted seven or eight more plants that I got at Freddy's last night. During the process of planting, I realized I should have checked out one of my classmates' nurseries, but we get into such ruts sometimes that when I think plants here in Astoria, I think "Fred Meyer." I'm not sure where their nursery is, but when I find it, I'll post about it. I know they care so much for their plants, it would make me happy to buy from them. I do still have the area to the left to deal with - the shaggy grass you can just see outside of the rock border. This pretty much completes the area inside the rocks. I hope they grow well this summer and turn the flowerbed into a riot of color. If not, I'll probably keep planting things, because that's what I want. My three sage plants in this bed survived the winter, and I've already seen that while the dusty gray kitchen sage seems to grow faster, it gets gray and leggy and sort of dead-looking, while the purple sage is still beautiful, if smaller. I love purple sage and would have filled the garden with it, except I'd like bright colors, too.

After fixing up the garden, I took off for Portland, where I was meeting Lee so we could go to the J.J. Cale concert at the Aladdin Theater. Since I guessed (correctly) that they wouldn't let you take photos inside, I didn't take my camera out of the car, and I have no pix of it, though someday I'd like to take some of the outside. Let me just say that J.J. Cale and his band were incredible, much better than I'd heard on his recordings, although I haven't listened to the latest live recordings. So that's how we ended the evening, but when we first arrived, we found our motel, then went across the bridge to Vancouver, Washington. Beaches is a restaurant on the river that we enjoy, and we had lunch there before chilling in the park nearby. I took the sailboat photos just above and below from Beaches. The Columbia River separates the two cities in the process of dividing Washington from Oregon. I took all of the following photos from the Washington side, and all but these two sailboat pix from "Old Apple Tree Park" near the I-5 Bridge.

It looks like a lake, but it's the Columbia River. Some days you see sailboats up here. Down our way, near the mouth of the river, that's pretty rare.

It was a beautiful day. The weekend had been the first really nice weather in a long time. It wasn't hot, but it was sort of warm. Some people were in t-shirts, and I alternated: sweatshirt/t-shirt, maybe even my jacket, depending on the shade and the breeze. It was fairly calm, and there were lots of flowering and blossoming things just getting into the Spring mood.

I like crows. I liked watching them in the trees. We put blankets on the grass and napped and watched things, and didn't do much else.

Some people were more industrious. They were chasing a ball of some kind. I was so relaxed, I don't even remember what they were playing. A path goes through the park along the riverfront.

Portland/Vancouver have a number of picturesque bridges, and this is one of them. I thought they all had interesting names, but this one seems only to be called "The I-5 Bridge," or "Interstate Bridge," and it's notable for having the only stoplight on I-5 between Canada and Mexico. The light is to warn cars that they have to stop when the lift goes up to let ships through.

Here's another shot of the bridge showing more of the park where we were relaxing. It seems this bridge, built in 1917 and subsequently enlarged, is now so outdated that bottlenecks are common. It was one-way until 1956, when they added southbound traffic. They have a plan to build a huge bridge to replace it. My first thought when I saw the artist's rendering is just how ugly it would be. It seems there are a lot more problems than that. I hate seeing beautiful old landmarks fall into the dustbin, as I've already seen in my few (eight) years in Astoria, and this one may not even accomplish anything.

Back to the park: From our spot on the grass, we could watch the trains passing. I probably should have gotten up and walked over nearer the tracks to get a good photo, but as I said, it was just a lazy day. I needed that.

Lee especially likes trains, and so I do. If he's a train freak, I'm at least a train admirer. I like taking photos of them, too. The wheels look pretty cool if you click on the photo.

And here's another engine on the back. I like that I can see it through the new growth on the trees. The colors are neat.

When we finally got up, we ambled down closer to the river. I like that this display describes some history of the Columbia. If you click on the picture, you can read it.

And here's a fishing boat of some type going upriver. It's Spring salmon season.

Here we've walked closer to the bridge, and you can see what the water's edge looks like with the park on the bluff above it.

And another shot of the I-5 bridge with one of the lifts visible. Someone posted a beautiful picture of this bridge on Panoramio.

The cow at Elevator B

I really like this cow parked at Elevator B at Legacy Emanuel Hospital, where we went to see Laurel, James, and Teagan in the NICU. Look at the gentle red and yellow leaves out the window, too.

To Portland with Laurel, James, Kiley, Lee (and Teagan)

I didn't realize until the phone rang that I'd be going into Portland today to pick Lee up and come back with him to Astoria. Laurel and James were going in anyway to spend Thanksgiving with Laurel's mom, and I rode in with them. We all got ready quickly, since they hadn't planned to leave until early afternoon. Kiley (above) was prepared at a moment's notice, so no problem there. The only issue is that I felt like taking pictures, and Kiley seemed to think the camera was an evil instrument of torture, because she'd turn away and pop into the back of the car when I pointed the lens in her direction.

It was a stunningly gorgeous fall day. The drive to Portland from Astoria takes about two hours, but I never get tired of it. Even though it's on highway and Interstate Freeway, the scenery is mostly trees and forests. The route goes along the Columbia River the whole way, although it's usually hidden by trees and the sloping bank. One drives east to Longview, then south to Portland. Ships can navigate all the way to Portland. The quickest auto route is from Astoria to Longview on the Oregon side of the river, then from Longview to Portland on the Washington side. At Vancouver, Washington, we cross the river again into Portland (Oregon). You can go the southern route from Astoria over Highway 26, but we usually go via Longview along the river.

Here's Laurel, driving.

It's too bad about the power lines here. The colors are beautiful. The black dots are Canada geese. You can see the white patches on their faces when you blow it up to the original size. There are a lot of sloughs along the river. We're on the Washington side of the Interstate now.

Lee likes trains, and I took a couple of photos for him. The engines were orange and horribly out of focus, so I didn't include them.

Not that these pix are so interesting, but this blog is my memory book, so . . . it doesn't matter.

I'm sure this pic doesn't do justice to the light. Everywhere we drove in the city, the sun shone through colorful leaves. I love the black trunk and the leaves in contrast. I couldn't get a shot of some of the best ones, so I settled for this tree near Starbucks when we stopped the car.

More light and leaves, although this tree looks more like spring than fall.

These bushes were pretty against Starbucks' latte-colored wall.

Here is Laurel with Lee (her dad). They hadn't seen each other for about six weeks. First Lee and I went to Paris for a week, then he spent three weeks in India, a week in Chicago and a week in Bend. Meanwhile, Teagan has been growing to the size of a pineapple (according to the baby web site). I'm not sure if that's with leaves on or off. It was a beautiful day and it was nice to be together. We all had sushi for lunch with Laurel's mom, then Lee and I drove back to Astoria where the sun was history, at least for now.