Debbie's Watercolors

Watercolor by Debbie Loyd

This painting is not by me (I wish!). It's by my counselor and friend Debbie Loyd, whose work I just love. Very few artists get the drawing part down correctly and in a balanced way, and I like that as much as I like her colors and technique. I'm thrilled that she finally has her watercolors online :-)

My Web Page: Tapirback.com.

Another One Bites It

Today I had to take this stuffed bass off of the web site because we sold out and he's been discontinued. Although he isn't one of my all-time "pet favorites," I do like him, and losing good realistic stuffed animals is always sad. I made a choice early on that I would carry mostly realistic toys. There are exceptions, but I have to LIKE them. For instance, I wish I'd thought of carrying Angry Birds merch when it came out. The birds are cartoonish, but I like them.

My Web Page: Tapirback.com.

(E)merging

Astoria, Oregon ~ November 3, 2011

Eeesh. Photos are so smart now that they have their own orientations. For some reason this eel will not stay upright on Blogger. Being an eel, he probably doesn't mind. But I do. I can't fix it.

I have to think about this. Not the eel, but blogging. One of my goals for the new year was to consolidate at least some of my scattered projects. Another was to come out from behind the curtain of my online store store and the Tapir Fund. I felt like I needed to repackage both into who I really am instead of maintaining them as faceless entities outside of myself. The idea is frightening, but the alternative has begun to seem ridiculous, and emerging feels inevitable.

Tonight I attended a writers' online chat, and the author leading the Q&A discussion emphatically said that a writer should combine all of their interests into one blog and market themselves rather than just their projects or products. I like the idea. It fit with my notion that I would feel less scattered and fried if I consolidated. There are a couple of blogs I think I would not want to merge or give up, but I like the idea. I'm going to work with it. She said that all of the strands should come together in one home location. My place of consolidation has been Tapirback, but that is only a top-level web page. It's not dynamic. 

These days, she said, people want to see real. They want to see who you are. They identify with you, they like you, and they want to buy your book or product. You are selling you. That is scary, but I believe it. I don't know that my blog is here to sell books, but for years I've neglected to make it the journal I want it to be. If I talk about my work and someone buys a book, that's great, but this is not "an author platform," it's just me. If they like my art, that's good, too. Pull it together. Here. Not all over the web. This is, hopefully, symbolic of the year.

The timing for tonight's online revelation was uncanny. I had been thinking all day about starting yet another blog for my reworking of All Eight Went into a Kindle book, but the whole idea was disturbing. I could not see this book merged with any of the blogs I already have, nor could I see myself starting blog number ten. So thank god I tuned in. I seem to be paying attention to the signals.

My Web Page: Tapirback.com.

Bicycle Waiting

Astoria, Oregon ~ January 24, 2013

Outside Columbia River Coffee Roasters

Yes, some of us need reminding. I'm still noticing small improvements that add up, but I'm waiting for the huge improvements. I did the math last night, and I honestly think my recovery was set back about a year because it took six months after the first surgery to get the second one. That means six more months of getting sick and six more months that I wasn't recovering. It's like driving an hour in the wrong direction. You lose the first hour, you lose the hour getting back to your starting point, and you lose the two hours you would have been driving in the right direction. I'm so mad about it, but at least I'm on the recovery road now. For some of us who were so incredibly sick before the surgery, this is unconscionable. These doctors were nice to me but I think they made mistakes. I will definitely tell them my opinion afterwards, though nicely. I reserve my greater fury for the doctor who had no clue when he saw the calcium test of 11.3 and would not send me to an endocrinologist. That was in 2004. Oh well, this was about recovery. I know it's here for all of us, but I know I would have had a quick recovery myself in 2004. I was still so very functional then.

I feel a bit like this bench. Waiting. Moss growing. Bicycle waiting. It's a bench for two, and yet it feels so lonely. The background is peaceful, but the real world waits outside the confines of the frame.

I was able to have coffee and visit for awhile with Barbara, Erika, and Laurel. I had fun playing with smiling Inga, still tiny with big blue eyes that sparkle fun. Teagan no longer knows me. We will see what happens with that.

1:30 p.m.: After my Reiki treatment with Angela, my feet gave me just a hint that, yes, they will someday take me places again. It was one of their better mornings. I remember the day - in between my two surgeries - when I was able to walk to the parking lot of Wells Fargo to hear music on Sunday Market day. It has not happened since, but it will happen again.

My Web Page: Tapirback.com.

INFP: Embracing the Quest

Catherine discovered the Myers-Briggs configuration of INFP today and realized they were talking about dreamers. Apparently you have to pay for the real M-B test, but together we found a site where you can take similar tests. Catherine came out ESFJ, a "Seller." I wasn't too surprised that I came out INFP, because I took the test years ago, but I didn't know that my designation came with the label, "Questor." 

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

This is good. I like being a questor. The test reminds me where my focus needs to remain to feel fulfilled. I have books to research and write this year. Several. I am also bringing more of my interests into my business, and embracing the quest here, too.

My Web Page: Tapirback.com.